through the roller-coaster of the past few days, I find myself blank... does nothing matter to me anymore...or is it just that now, i know that i can deal with whatever is thrown at me.. or is it still waiting to register?

chances..

why does one give another person more chances than they deserve?

why does one search for goodness in people that most probably does not exist..

how many times does one give another person the benefit of doubt, when you know its undeserved..

does being non judgmental mean you let people take advantage of you?

will one never learn from past mistakes?

Beethoven's 5th

finally i heard the whole thing..before this i have always shut it down simply cos it bothered me too much...so much so that i thought i might not be so into this western classical stuff all that much.. and then..the full thing..

it pushes and prods, brings up thoughts you thought you had so successfully deleted from memory, makes you want things you had banished from your life, rips out everything from within you, tears it to shreds, and just when you can't take anymore, as a kind of peace offering, it gives back the pieces, to put together as best you can...

all i can handle after this is Talat mehmood...

Sitting here at the ground,

Surrounded by lush trees and light reflecting greens,

watching my son work hard at what he loves best...

he requires nothing from me now,

other than a ride here

I play my part in shaping his life

and play it well enough to know

that he has the strength in him to take life in his stride

to overcome the disappointments that will come his way

and to come out on top

he is on his way to being a happy, confident, responsible man

I see my role becoming smaller each day,

And that, I think, is my success.